My check list for introducing a new baby to siblings- you don’t want to miss this one!
A 2 minute read- go on treat yourself…
- In the run up to baby being born try to embed a daily practice of Magic 20 (see my other blog post). This will help enhance the connection with your older child and fill up their little love tank before the new baby is born.
- Avoid taking baby into your older child’s room in the mornings. I think it helps to start the day without the new baby in your arms. The first thing they see is good ole Mum/Dad as they used to be.
- Expectations, keep them at a sensible level. Children are not always keen on babies, they are loud, sleepy and a bit stinky, give your child time…
- Take a moment to imagine how you might feel if your Husband came home one day with a new partner who was moving in. A funny thought, but It might feel a bit like that for your older child.
- You can try asking your child to mirror what you are doing such as changing a nappy with a doll beside you during busy moments. Ask them to help you and be really specific with praise such as I like the way you knew what baby needed and you went and got a muslin cloth etc.
- An introduction on day 1 such as a desired gift can help and say “look what the baby has left you?”
- It can be helpful to create a basket of sticker books/lap play items as you may be sat on the sofa feeding a lot of the time and your older child might want to join you; and it will be super handy to have things nearby.
- Collect a magic tat box of fiddly, interesting items your child hasn’t seen before. Buy cheap inexpensive items such as stretchy pay doh, bubbles, happy meal toys etc and bring it out at feeding times for the child to help keep them occupied.
- Pop along for a scan visit with your child and bring the baby to life as a real person. For example, “Your baby sister is sleeping. Why do you think she is asleep?” This might help to make the new sibling feel like a real person and, hopefully, a future friend.
- Let’s imagine what she likes most , what she will wear, what she play…
- Read stories about babies and look back at old photos of them as a baby- really treasuring the memories together of how small and precious they were.
- If possible, spend some time with friends and their new-borns. She will see that new babies are very sleepy and need a lot of care – they’re not instant playmates!
- Prepare grandparents/ visitors on how you want them to receive the new baby. Should they bring a gift for the older child? Could they go to baby shop and pick a gift with your older child?
- The first visit… keep baby in the basinet on arrival so they can give you a hug and see you without the baby in your arms and use low key voices to keep things calm.
- It can be a great idea when you bring baby home in those early days; that each night for the first week baby keeps setting up things for the older child to wake up to such as activities like colouring or play doh
It’s a very busy time for families when a new baby arrives, hopefully this time around as a second time parent you will be feeling more confident. Be kind to yourself and give yourself time to settle in with the new baby.
With love as always
Lisa